Stupid people

I dated the same guy for almost an entire year. I thought maybe we would get married and he would be the one. However he broke up with me last Thursday. The night before my high school Graduation. Then to beat it all he told me yesterday that it didn't even hurt him to leave and that really none of that time had meant anything to him and that he could do better. now any of you out there who know who I'm talking about know that really he cant do much better. I am obviously the one who can do better and i have been working on that. so take that Mr. Youknowwhoyouare.

perfect fit

Why do i love him?
well I'm not too sure.
My chances are so slim.
Can he really feel the same?

Every time i do this,
I only end up hurt.
I don't want another one to miss.
I need the one who will stay.

Maybe he's the one that is right.
He makes me smile so much.
When he's here there is constant light.
The darkness never returns.

When I leave I want to go back.
I want him there all day.
When he's gone i see what i lack.
to him i have everything.

His golden eyes are unbelievable.
They put my blue ones to shame.
The feeling i get is inconceivable,
when our eyes meet.

Please tell me he's gonna stay.
I can't let him go.
The goodbye word he will never say.
He is the perfect fit.

-Kansas-

sleepover!!!!

Tomorrow and the next two days are gonna be amazing. I am gonna be sleeping over with really good friends! its gonna be amazing. I'm sure i will have many stories to tall afterwards.

My Amazing life

I have an amazing life. Finally i feel like i need to wake up in the morning for something again. I have a couple new people in my life and they are amazing. They want me around like everyday and i want them around too. One of them is really really cool and she is so fun to talk to the other one is an absolutely amazing boy. he has the prettiest eyes in the world. He has really really gold looking eyes, they remind me of what Edward Cullen's eyes should look like from twilight. we love to hang with each other and we get along great. Life is great today we went to Steele's creek and then to TCBY and then to pals i was out from 2:30pm to 7:00pm. It was so great :).

Life is good when you do what you like and like what you do.

I am having a pretty good summer so far. I'm getting my car VTEC stickers today and I have a job interview on Saturday. Summer is looking like its gonna be amazing especially if i get this job. I will have some thing to do all the time and that's what i need. its my personality. so I'm excited lol.

missing someone

I'm missing someone very important to me right now. A lot of people who care about me have told me i should forget this person because of the way they are treating me right now, I know that i might not deserve what is happening right now but I honestly don't really care about that. I know that if this person called me and was like im at the hospital i just had a car wreck or my car broke down or i ran out of gas or Kansas i'm stuck without a ride i would be right there, no questions asked because this person means the world to me. At one point in our lives i meant something to him to and i believe i still do its just burried under all the hurt, frustration and anger. I don't think we need to hate each other forever because of something that seems so small when you look back on it. I have gotten over all the crying everyday and avoiding him, but every night he's there in my dreams and everything is fine and i wake up to a nightmare of a real world. I know he has to miss talking to me. I have a bunch of stuff to talk to him about, stuff we would normally talk about together when we were out or on our way to class. i miss our random, funny conversations, i could tell him just about anything and it would be fine. we generally get along pretty well but sometimes when we have already had a bad day or something we say things to each other that we know we shouldnt. I know i really messed up but it has now been a month since we have spoken. I want to talk to him.
I really do miss him.

when i look at you.

Has anyone heard the Miley song "When I look at you"? Every time i hear that song i cry. I know exactly who that song was written about. He lives about 3 min. down the road from me. Without him there everyday i think i would have already been dead 5 times over. A lot of people might think this is a bit of a risk putting all these deep feelings on here but i know that he knows how it is between us and that that's how i want to keep it. I don't have to worry he's gonna take this the wrong way because we understand each other, we know how it has to be and how it will always be. He is always there when i need him,he listens and even though he might think every thing's funny i know he really understands.He is one of the only ones who has ever understood anything about me. We have so much fun together no matter what we are doing. Last semester we laughed our heads off Cutting up a poor little dead baby pig, we can make anything fun when we are together.I could be crying for days and when he walks in the door and smiles and laughs at me that's it, no more crying, whatever it was that was wrong isn't even an issue anymore. I know that if i ever have to go more then a few weeks without any contact with him i might die. Earlier in the semester we went 2 and a half weeks without speaking and my life was a wreck, i didn't sleep, i barely ate and i cried every night.I have never cried so much for someone in my life. No matter how many boyfriends break my heart it will never live up to those 3 horrible weeks.

So if you're reading this Mr.Youknowwhoyouare then just know that you are a really really good friend and without you I'm sure i wouldn't make it through tomorrow. <3

-Yeah when my world is falling apart
and there's no light to break up the dark
that's when I,I look at you
When the waves are flooding the shore
and i cant find my way home anymore
that's when I, I look at you-