Stress(2)

I live for looking good and getting attention, that's just how my mind works. So my high school prom is a very big deal to me. I have successfully bought my dress, shoes, and accessories. But the one thing i don't have is a gorgeous guy to show off. Some unforeseen complications have rendered me dateless for the occasion. This situation would not be so bad if i didn't know that my ex boyfriend was gonna be there with the girl he dated before me. But with those circumstances i am almost required to have a date. how on earth can i show up alone while he loves all over her right in front of me? Not my idea of a good time. I need a guy to be all over in front of him so he will know that i am totally over him. So i have now 2 weeks to find this lucky guy, i have had to employ the help of some reinforcements to ensure my dateless state is taken care of in a timely manner. So wish me luck!

Love Quotes I like.......

Love me when i least deserve it, because that's when i most need it.

You know that when i hate you its because i love you to the point of passion that unhinges my soul.

Love is being stupid together

Eventually you will understand that love heals everything and love is all there is.

You know its really love when all you want is that person to be happy even if you're not a part of their happiness.

In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything and two minus one equals nothing.

In true love the smallest distance is too great and the greatest distance can be bridged.

Love comes unseen, we only see it go.

Love comes when manipulation stops, when you think more about the other person then his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable.

American idol

Tim Urban should win American idol this year or at least stay on there long enough to record an album. I think he is the cutest thing in the world. I can't believe he is as old as he is, he look like a little puppy dog. He may not be the best singer on there this year but he is definitely the hottest person on there. Personally i think he should stay for that reason alone. Anybody else feel the same?

Go Tim!

Life

Does anybody else ever feel like your life is being slowly ripped apart piece by piece until suddenly you have nothing to live for anymore? That's exactly how i feel right now. I seriously believe i could die right now and nobody would care except the people who have to care. One of my best friends is giving me the silent treatment for an unknown reason..... i really miss him, even when he's sitting right beside me. He's a completely different person, i have never known him to be like this before and i have been friends with him for almost 6 years. I miss him so much, its horrible i don't sleep and i force myself not to look at him and smile when i see him...... i cry every night all night for him. I want my friend back so bad. My other best friend has such an amazing and perfect life that i don't want to bother her with all my "drama". I feel as though i have nobody in this world. I was so excited for prom because i was gonna be with my friends and have a great time. Now i dread it because i have no friends and i just feel depressed all the time. Why should i try to look pretty when i have no one to look pretty for? I ask myself that everyday. I want my life back, i want my real happiness back, not this fake stuff i put on for people. The bottom line is I want my friends back.

Losing a friend

Its hard to forget a friend you once had,

all those wonderful times you had, before it all went bad.

You thought they would always be there

you thought they would always care.

5 years is a long time to throw away,

just because of what they say.

we always knew what was true

shouldn't that have been enough to get us through?

I know why you hate me now,

the only thing i don't know is how,

how can you believe them over me?

why is the truth so hard for you to see?

PS. If you are the person who ruined my friendship, thanks a lot. I have an idea of who it was and its two girls who i strongly dislike, so if you are reading this, i will have my revenge i promise you that.........

LOVE

Love is such a complicated emotion, most people probably have never been in love they just think they have. People sometimes fall in love with the wrong person some people fail to see when another person is in love with them and sometimes people fall in love with someone who isn't willing to give them a chance. But there are different kinds of love, there is the love you give to your family, the love you give your best friend, the love you give to God, the love you give to your boyfriend/girlfriend and the love you will or do give to your husband/wife.

Love is something that can't be controlled you don't choose to love someone you just love them, it's not something you can change or turn on and off. I believe that it is impossible to fall out of love with someone completely the amount of love you give a person can and probably will change at times but if you truly love someone you will always love them no matter what. It is also possible to love someone and not be in love with them, this happens when you realize you cant live with a person your whole life, this is the most painful and upsetting situation to be in because you don't want to leave but at the same time you know you have to. Its also hard because you know you will never be able to leave that person behind you, you will have some emotional connection with them for the rest of your life you just won't have the physical connection, which brings up another point. There is no such thing as physical love this is called lust, its love without emotion. This is often times confused with love and usually makes for a short lived relationship. next time someone tells you they love you think about which kind of love they are trying to give you and weather you love them back in the same way or a different way or at all. Never say I love you if you are not sure you mean it, and always make sure what you are feeling really is love not lust.

stress

I have come to the conclusion that stress is the worst thing for a diet. The more stressed out i get the more i want to break out the candy bars. So I'm trying to keep the stress level down for my diets sake, but apparently according to mom i have a very bad attitude........ I'm not sure i disagree but i like my attitude. If i get rid of my selfish arrogant attitude i will lose what makes me Kansas. So all day mom has been bothering me about my attitude which isn't doing much for my stress level which in turn isn't helping me with my diet. Plus all the Valentines day candy laying around is just waiting to solve all my problems........ I'm trying really hard not to give in to it. life really isn't a box of chocolates, its a box of snakes, alligators, rats and spiders....... if it was a box of chocolates nobody would be stressed out, lately i have been sticking my hand in the box only to get it bitten off by an alligator...... at this point all i can hope for is a rat.

Valentines day poem By: me!

Valentines day is so stupid

it makes you just want to shoot cupid

if you only love one day of the year

then you don't really love at all my dear.

The roses are pretty

and so is the stuffed kitty.

but no one needs all that stuff

all that red, pink and purple fluff.

all they need is your sweet kiss

and your soft touch they always miss.



-Kansas-

Valentines day

Valentines day is tomorrow yay!.... actually I'm really not that upset about not having a significant other to share it with. Mostly because i know that since i don't get to enjoy valentines day with the man of my dreams this year i get to look forward to it for next year or maybe the year after that. The way i see it is people that have a "valentine" every year spreads their love out over the years and well lets face it, it gets kinda old after a while I'm sure, and it complicates the past. The longer I wait for the right guy to show up, the more love I will have stored up inside of me to give him. So to those of you out there who have valentines, Happy Valentines day, and to those of you who don't hang in there, believe me I know it 's hard waiting but when they finally show up at our front doors with all their candy and roses and lets not forget diamond rings, we will have so much love to give to them it will last a life time.

SNOW!!!!

snow snow go away.......... no really just LEAVE!!!!!

I'm so sick of snow days. i mean its one thing if it just barely snows and i can still get around, and by that i mean get my car out of the drive way and down the hill. but its a totally different thing to be stuck in my house for days on end. believe it or not i actually want my junior year of high school to end. i mean i know we have all these built in snow days or whatever but still all these days at home are worse then days at school. i seriously have nothing to do. i cant go shopping, i cant go driving, i cant go out with friends. i realize some people like snow, i do too but we have had enough of it this winter.