perfect fit

Why do i love him?
well I'm not too sure.
My chances are so slim.
Can he really feel the same?

Every time i do this,
I only end up hurt.
I don't want another one to miss.
I need the one who will stay.

Maybe he's the one that is right.
He makes me smile so much.
When he's here there is constant light.
The darkness never returns.

When I leave I want to go back.
I want him there all day.
When he's gone i see what i lack.
to him i have everything.

His golden eyes are unbelievable.
They put my blue ones to shame.
The feeling i get is inconceivable,
when our eyes meet.

Please tell me he's gonna stay.
I can't let him go.
The goodbye word he will never say.
He is the perfect fit.

-Kansas-

sleepover!!!!

Tomorrow and the next two days are gonna be amazing. I am gonna be sleeping over with really good friends! its gonna be amazing. I'm sure i will have many stories to tall afterwards.

My Amazing life

I have an amazing life. Finally i feel like i need to wake up in the morning for something again. I have a couple new people in my life and they are amazing. They want me around like everyday and i want them around too. One of them is really really cool and she is so fun to talk to the other one is an absolutely amazing boy. he has the prettiest eyes in the world. He has really really gold looking eyes, they remind me of what Edward Cullen's eyes should look like from twilight. we love to hang with each other and we get along great. Life is great today we went to Steele's creek and then to TCBY and then to pals i was out from 2:30pm to 7:00pm. It was so great :).

Life is good when you do what you like and like what you do.

I am having a pretty good summer so far. I'm getting my car VTEC stickers today and I have a job interview on Saturday. Summer is looking like its gonna be amazing especially if i get this job. I will have some thing to do all the time and that's what i need. its my personality. so I'm excited lol.

missing someone

I'm missing someone very important to me right now. A lot of people who care about me have told me i should forget this person because of the way they are treating me right now, I know that i might not deserve what is happening right now but I honestly don't really care about that. I know that if this person called me and was like im at the hospital i just had a car wreck or my car broke down or i ran out of gas or Kansas i'm stuck without a ride i would be right there, no questions asked because this person means the world to me. At one point in our lives i meant something to him to and i believe i still do its just burried under all the hurt, frustration and anger. I don't think we need to hate each other forever because of something that seems so small when you look back on it. I have gotten over all the crying everyday and avoiding him, but every night he's there in my dreams and everything is fine and i wake up to a nightmare of a real world. I know he has to miss talking to me. I have a bunch of stuff to talk to him about, stuff we would normally talk about together when we were out or on our way to class. i miss our random, funny conversations, i could tell him just about anything and it would be fine. we generally get along pretty well but sometimes when we have already had a bad day or something we say things to each other that we know we shouldnt. I know i really messed up but it has now been a month since we have spoken. I want to talk to him.
I really do miss him.

when i look at you.

Has anyone heard the Miley song "When I look at you"? Every time i hear that song i cry. I know exactly who that song was written about. He lives about 3 min. down the road from me. Without him there everyday i think i would have already been dead 5 times over. A lot of people might think this is a bit of a risk putting all these deep feelings on here but i know that he knows how it is between us and that that's how i want to keep it. I don't have to worry he's gonna take this the wrong way because we understand each other, we know how it has to be and how it will always be. He is always there when i need him,he listens and even though he might think every thing's funny i know he really understands.He is one of the only ones who has ever understood anything about me. We have so much fun together no matter what we are doing. Last semester we laughed our heads off Cutting up a poor little dead baby pig, we can make anything fun when we are together.I could be crying for days and when he walks in the door and smiles and laughs at me that's it, no more crying, whatever it was that was wrong isn't even an issue anymore. I know that if i ever have to go more then a few weeks without any contact with him i might die. Earlier in the semester we went 2 and a half weeks without speaking and my life was a wreck, i didn't sleep, i barely ate and i cried every night.I have never cried so much for someone in my life. No matter how many boyfriends break my heart it will never live up to those 3 horrible weeks.

So if you're reading this Mr.Youknowwhoyouare then just know that you are a really really good friend and without you I'm sure i wouldn't make it through tomorrow. <3

-Yeah when my world is falling apart
and there's no light to break up the dark
that's when I,I look at you
When the waves are flooding the shore
and i cant find my way home anymore
that's when I, I look at you-

expectations

So I'm sorry i have to end the happy post streak but my life has taken a dramatic turn for the worse thanks to my big mouth. I cant keep myself from saying things i don't mean when I'm mad and the other morning i was very very mad. Mom had already threatened my keys and car and my phone and computer. I was in a bad mood and i said some really really mean things to a person i would never want to hurt. I feel horrible, and i have apologized so many times i couldn't even count them. But no matter how many times i say I'm sorry nothing changes. We walk around like the last 6 years never happened just because of 6 little words that never should have been said. I've tried everything i can to keep myself sane but it just keeps getting harder. Now that i have stepped back from the situation i realize that most of the conflicts we've had this year have been my fault because of my new found expectations. Over the last few months i have developed expectations for our friendship instead of letting everything go the way it should and just having fun. I realize now that the expectations make me unsatisfied and leave him upset and mad. If he ever lets me back in i will be a better friend and leave the expectations out so my friendship wont have to come with a price. I just want my best friend back. He knows more about me then anyone else, even my mom. I need him around to talk to and joke with and hang with. but this is my fault so I'm just gonna have to wait it out and pray that he loves me enough to take me back because i know i need him but threes no way on gods green earth i deserve him.

PROM!!!!!

So you may be wondering why on earth is she up at 8:30am on a saturday! well it just so happens to be the day of prom!!!!! I have been blogging about prom since i started this blog back a few months ago, you guys have been with me through all the many many lows and also through the highs. Well today is for sure a really good high. I have hair at 12pm. dress after that and then pictures at 4:30pm. Then we will eat and then it will be on to "the best night of our lives". im really looking forward to it. Me and my best friend running around together like normal just with a little fancier of clothes on. <3........ well the day awaits. Talk to you guys tomorrow.

OMG!!! The big night is almost here!!!!!!

Prom night is one of the most anticipated nights on a teens calender. Filled with great expectations and grand designs prom most often ends up being a let down then a high point. How can you keep your prom memories from becoming nightmares????

Go Alone, in a group, or on a date????
the most common reason people have bad prom experiences is due to the company they choose to keep on prom night. While the romance of prom night may make it seem like its for couples, this is not always the best scenario, nor does going in a group guarantee a good time. Be smart about who you go with. Volatile relationships, Quasi- Friendships and dieing romances have no place at prom.


Stick to a Budget
Proms are expensive. By the time you have paid for tickets, bought an outfit and arranged transportation you are easily at the hundred dollar mark ( or even the thousand dollar mark if you're me). Want to have a painless and money saving prom night???? Prom doesn't have to be an investment to be fun!

Don't Dream the night away
While prom is exciting it is really just a big party with fancy clothes. It won't be much different then any other party you attend throughout the year. You will likely hang with the same crew, Talk about the same things and tell the same lame jokes. Don't expect prom to be a new dawn in your social life or the beginning of a grand love affair. big expectations always end up deflated.

I miss you......

I has been five years since my uncle Nigel Stamps went to be with the Lord. I miss him dearly, every time i get in my car i think of him because he used to love cars. He had his own shop " Custom Exteriors" in Johnson city. I wish he was still here so he could fix my car up for me. We would have so much fun doing that together. I remember going over to my Aunts house and playing with the cats and he would always play with the cats with me. I miss him sitting in his spot at nanny's on Christmas morning. I miss seeing his stocking hanging above the fire place.I miss him every time i go into the new building at my church because he never got to see it finished. I miss him every time it rains because he loved the rain. I miss him every time i see a dark red jeep because i loved to ride in that thing with him. I miss him every time i go past the airport because he is buried right across the road. I hold all my feelings about him in until i just cant stand it anymore and then i burst. I wish i had known that night at the baseball Field was gonna be the last time i saw him. I would have told him just how much he meant to me and how much i loved him. I would have said goodbye instead of I'll see you tomorrow. I love and miss you Uncle Nigel <3. Cant wait to see you in Heaven.

your love is my drug (ke$ha)

Maybe i need some rehab, or maybe just need some sleep
i got a sick obsession, I'm seeing it in my dreams
I'm looking down every alley, I'm making those desperate calls
I'm staying up all night hoping, hitting my head against the wall.

What you've got boy is hard to find
i think about it all the time
I'm all strung out my heart is fried.
i just cant get you off my mind

because your love your love your love is my drug
your love your love your love
i said your love your love your love is my drug
your love your love your love

wont listen to any advice
mamma's telling me i should think twice.
but left to my own devices I'm addicted its a crisis.
my friends think I've gone crazy
my judgements getting kinda hazy
my status is gonna be effected
if i keep it up like a love sick crack head.

"Chorus"

I don't care what people say
the rush is worth the price i pay
i get so high when you're with me
but crash and crave you when you leave

so i got a question
do you wanna have a slumber party in my basement
do i make your heart beat like a native drum?
is my love your drug?

"chorus 2x"

I wish i never had to leave......

I have been watching HSM3. Yeah i know I'm a little too old for that but i watched the first two so i had to watch the last one sometime. I have come to the conclusion through watching that movie that crying will not be an option at graduation. In fact i probably will have to be on suicide watch for a few months after high school is over because there are some people that i will never be able to function with out. I know that sounds crazy but consider the source before you go judging it. Love is a powerful emotion and i have come to love a lot of people in that school and even at times i might love the school. Graduation will be a start and an end. Both of which are going to be very hard. However the end is much more scary then the beginning will ever be because i know i cant stay with these people forever and the reality is after that night i may never see some of them ever again.

Maybe everything isnt such a big deal after all.......

Maybe its just the chocolate talking but I'm starting to feel a little bit better about life. Maybe everything will be better in a couple days and we will get back to normal and life will be wonderful again. Life isn't really as bad as it seems and every little thing doesn't need to become a life or death situation. I think that maybe the way i deal with things might actually make it worse more times then it helps. I wish i could just calm myself down, I'm gonna have to learn some mind calming exercises or something. I didn't sleep at all last night and of course with my high chocolate content right now I'm not even close to tired. However my body requires some serious sleep or I'm gonna be the one in the weird mood. I feel like I'm on some kind of weird high and then in the next few minuets it will feel like I'm in some kind of withdraw state, it's absolutely ridiculous. How many other people feel like this on a regular basis???? Probably nobody else. I honestly feel like i live on a different planet most of the time and everybody else just comes to visit sometimes. I'm gonna have to learn to live on earth with everybody else and behave myself. If you have any suggestions about how i might go about changing the things that need changed just let me know........ <3

misunderstanding suck

I hate it when something really bad happens and you think its the end of the world when really you are making it a lot worse then it has to be. Last night i was at my mammaws house and my cousin got my best friends phone number and he starts texting him a bunch of stuff and he wont tell me what, so i text my best friend and he's busy and cant text back but i don't know that so i freak out and text him like a million times cause i think he's mad at me because of what my cousin said even though i don't even know what he said. Now i probably made the situation much worse by freaking out but really what would anyone do in that situation?????? Would you just let your friend be "mad" at you for an unknown reason or would you try to fix it at all costs? This isn't called being psycho, its called caring a lot about a relationship you have with someone you really care about. If I lose him i will lose myself. He is the only thing that keeps me halfway sane.

more spring break fun!!!!!

went to the tanning bed today then headed straight to where else????? Tommy's house. I picked him up and we headed to the park for another 2 miles on that hot sunny trail. We started walking and saw some turtles on a tree in the water then we saw some ducks and we chased them into the water YAY!!!! Fun!!!! then we heard this really weird sound and there is a tree on that trail that is about to fall! So we ran away so we wouldn't get smashed. We were out there for like 3 hours its so amazing that we can go be with each other that long for two days in a row and still have stuff to talk about. We will be friends till we die. Its so great i cant imagine a day with out seeing him. I will die when we go to college. Its just so easy to talk to him yay!!!! Best friends forever,,,,,,, No matter what!!!!!! <3

forever 21 outfit of the week 4/5/2010

This weeks "forever 21 outfit of the week consists of the following:
-jeans: LIP frayed skinny jeans $24.80
-Tank: Hello Kitty rainbow Tank $14.80
-Sandals: Strappy gladiator sandal $18.80
-Purse: assorted key fob tote $22.80
-belt: leatherette braided belt $2.50
-Earrings: spectrum studs set $3.80

Life just keeps getting better....... spring break!!!!!!!!

Yay!!! its finally spring break. Time for some fun in the sun with my peeps LOL!!!!! well that's exactly what i did today, except the sun was maybe a bit too excited about spring break and over did it a little. I'm sun burned and then i went to the tanning bed so I'm double red. Also i thought it was a good idea to wear flip flops because we were gonna be at the lake/creek. We walked two miles. my feet were in the lake for like 2 seconds. My feet have horrible blisters on them. One of them popped and a gallon of blood came out of it. Its gross, But i really did have a great time. Me and Tommy walked, chased ducks, saw fish....... LOL what fun! then we went to sonic and got drinks. He wanted me to come over and play with him tonight but this little kitten is worn out. It will have to wait for tomorrow. <3

the absolute best night ever....... sort of

i went to street fights at the Bristol dragway last night with one of my best friends and it was a lot of fun. I saw some amazing cars. Although there were a lot of nice sports cars there, they were all stock. The Honda civics are the ones that i was impressed with...... i don't think any of them were completely stock, except mine :(. My poor little Honda looked like it came straight from the dealer compared to almost all the other ones there. I really really really need a new muffler and Vtech decals. That's the main thing right now. Its time to trick out my Honda!!!!!!!!

Drag Racing =)

I love drag racing! But it runs in the family so its no surprise. My papaw,dad,uncle,cousins either have or do drag race. The day i was born my uncle raced in the Bracket finals. I love going to the track and being around the cars and the people. In my family at the moment we have 4 racers, 3 of my cousins and my uncle(although there will hopefully be a 5th soon! Me!). Two of the cars are Jr. Dragsters (which are half scale models of Top fuel Dragsters)since i was 8 years old or even younger i have longed to drive one of these cars. I would tell one of my uncles racing friends that i wanted a purple and pink one for my birthday. I have been to races every Saturday in the spring/summer/fall ever since i can remember. Racing is in my blood, every time i go to the track especially now that i have my license and a car, I'm dieing to race. However due to my moms reluctance to let me, it might have to wait till I'm 18, which is only a few more months so i guess i can wait. My uncle drives a super pro or alcohol dragster which is really really cool, i hope to have one of them someday. Its amazing to feel that drag racing is in your veins, i physically can not pull out of a red light slowly, i absolutely have to slam the gas to the floor, there's no choice. Mom tried and tried to get that out of me while i had my learners permit but she couldn't, she finally gave up. My cousin Avery used to race a Jr. dragster but now that he has his license he races a Chevy El camino. If i raced right now i would just be driving my little Honda civic, but honestly i don't care. In bracket racing no matter what car you have, everyone has a chance. I cant wait for the first time i get to go down that track, I know it will be one of the most amazing experiences of my lifetime.

sugar rush

i get a high when ever you're around
sweeping from my head to my toes
i gotta get my feet back on the ground
cause you make me go out of my way
crossing the line
making me say what i have in mind.

you make me so excited
and i don't want to fight it
i start to blush
you are my sugar rush
ain't nothing better baby
is it for real or maybe
I'm losing touch
you are my sugar rush

baby you're my sugar rush
i get weak and talk to much
you're the sweetest thing i ever tasted.
you're my sugar rush. <3

"forever 21 outfit of the week" 3/28/10

This weeks forever 21 outfit of the week includes the following:
- shoes: lattice peep-toe pump $24.80
- Dress: Sonya abstract print dress $19.80
- Sweater:short sleeved bow cardigan: $19.80
- Purse: slouchy leatherette shoulder bag $30.80
- Necklace: tribal feather necklace $14.80
- earrings: feather chic earring set $4.80
- Bracelets: ribbon tie beaded bracelets $4.80
- headband: feather braided headband $8.80

*full outfit for only $128.40
(the earrings have three pairs in the picture, however i would wear the feather ones)
*also the sweater should be left unbuttoned if worn over the dress*

Sorry UK fans........

Looks like John Calipari's Wildcat Plane mad a crash landing last night. Even though it didn't work out like we wanted it to, I know all the wildcat fans out there are really happy for our fantastic freshmen. John Wall was amazing with the wildcats this year as well as Demarcus Cousins,If you guys ever read this, which I'm sure you wont, You are amazing Basketball players and even though I really want you back at UK next year i wish you luck in the NBA. Wish we could have sent you off with an NCAA championship under you belt or maybe even a place in the final 4 but sometimes life just isn't fair. We beat UT and that's really all that matters isn't it? HaHa it was a great year. Good Job Kentucky Wildcats!!!!!!!


I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE WILDCATS OF THE UNIVERSITY OF KENTUCKY,UNITED WE STAND DIVIDED WE FALL, BUT IN OUR HEARTS WE WON IT ALL. GO BIG BLUE!!!!!!

I LOVE YOU CATS!!!!!

Guys should dress like this all the time.

******as you can see gray skinny jeans are a must have for men this season******
-All outfits can be purchased on the Forever 21 website-

Some things i know.

Theres some things i know to be true
Snow is white and the ocean is blue
rain is wet
when i falls from the sky
and the stars come out every night
and just as sure as the sun will rise
this Love is real you see in my eyes
Plant a seed and it will grow
Some things i know.

Theres some things in life i need
water to drink, air to breath
A place to rest when i need sleep
when im hungry food to eat
as sure as i need the lord above
thats how much i need your Love
And i need shelter from the cold
Some things i know

Theres some things in life i want
To be thankful for all i've got
A friend to talk with, A hand to hold
To still be young when i grow old
And I want all my dreams to come true
And i want to share them all with you
And i just had to tell you so
Theres some things i know.

When I look at you

Has anyone heard the Miley song "When I look at you"? Every time i hear that song i cry. I know exactly who that song was written about. He lives about 3 min. down the road from me. Without him there everyday i think i would have already been dead 5 times over. A lot of people might think this is a bit of a risk putting all these deep feelings on here but i know that he knows how it is between us and that that's how i want to keep it. I don't have to worry he's gonna take this the wrong way because we understand each other, we know how it has to be and how it will always be. He is always there when i need him,he listens and even though he might think every thing's funny i know he really understands.He is one of the only ones who has ever understood anything about me. We have so much fun together no matter what we are doing. Last semester we laughed our heads off Cutting up a poor little dead baby pig, we can make anything fun when we are together.I could be crying for days and when he walks in the door and smiles and laughs at me that's it, no more crying, whatever it was that was wrong isn't even an issue anymore. I know that if i ever have to go more then a few weeks without any contact with him i might die. Earlier in the semester we went 2 and a half weeks without speaking and my life was a wreck, i didn't sleep, i barely ate and i cried every night.I have never cried so much for someone in my life. No matter how many boyfriends break my heart it will never live up to those 3 horrible weeks.

So if you're reading this Mr.Youknowwhoyouare then just know that you are a really really good friend and without you I'm sure i wouldn't make it through tomorrow. <3

-Yeah when my world is falling apart
and there's no light to break up the dark
that's when I,I look at you
When the waves are flooding the shore
and i cant find my way home anymore
that's when I, I look at you-

My mood ring is so confused!!!!!!

I wear a mood ring sometimes and today when i was wearing it, it stayed blue most of the day but sometimes it would be green and then all of a sudden i look down and its brown! Brown happens when its really really confused. I really didn't know what to think. i mean its been a pretty OK day but on somethings i didn't know weather to be happy,sad, or mad. So my mood ring is brown =(. All my feelings are jumbled up. I don't know anything anymore. Sad day.

"forever 21 outfit of the week" 3/23/10

This weeks "forever 21 outfit of the week consists of the following:
shirt-Blurred garden shoulder top $17.80
skirt-Grommet tiered skirt $19.80
Shoes-cut-out scalloped flats $16.80
Bag-woven leatherette hobo bag $32.80
Bracelets-embossed bangle set $5.80
Earrings-antique leaf hoops $3.80
Headband-satin corsage headband $3.80
Entire outfit for only-$100.60